Nah I'm Good

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
fuckitscute

Anonymous asked:

tell me something about yourself

atombombtom answered:

so this might be tmi but the first time i jacked off it was like 2005? I was playing the sims 2 for the first time and i didn’t know anything about Gay but i made my male sim kiss don lothario, which i didn’t think would work. i then googled “2 sims kissing (boys)” and that led me down a rabbit hole (lol sims 3 reference there), and yeah, ya know, I did the self-woohoo. that same night there was an oprah re-run about teenage pregnancy and i was horrified. oh my god, i was convinced i was pregnant, nevermind that i am a little cis gay boy with no uterus. nevermind that i was a virgin. i was CERTAIN I was pregnant. Like, 900%. I had done the nasty and had become filled with my own vile seed. I started getting really self-conscious about my belly expanding. I didn’t want to google anything about masturbation leading to pregnancy out of fear it would confirm all my worst fears. My male sim got abducted by aliens and came back with morning sickness. He gave birth to twin aliens. that confirmed it in my mind that it was biological possible for men to carry children, perhaps even their own.. what was i going to tell my parents when i gave birth to myself? anyway I went to the doctor with a cold and he asked me what was wrong and i told him i was pregnant and he pissed himself laughing. this whole ordeal lasted about 5 months, but the lasting effect will probably follow me to the grave.

atombombtom

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wizardshark
phantomrose96

I'm not the first person to say this, but sometimes I like writing things where The Twist(TM) can be figured out before its actual reveal.

And sure I also like Twists aren't meant to be figured out until the end. But it's like. That's not a requirement. There's room for both. They serve different purposes. Not every Twist needs to be some fight for the writer to prove how smart they are by keeping the audience in the dark until the very end.

Sometimes I wanna write a Twist that's a teamsport actually. I'm gonna reward the reader for paying attention. I want them to be able to go "hey wait I think I know where this is going" halfway through when I've sprinkled out enough breadcrumbs. I want them to get excited. I want them to be able to go "I called it." Like fuck yeah you did. You got my clues. You were paying attention. You did great. I'm shaking your hand.

wizardshark

in my experience, the best plot twist is one you go OH SHIT about 10 seconds before its revealed because everything makes sense

mhaccunoval
astriiformes

My sister was telling me that she and her girlfriend went on a ghost tour for their anniversary, and at one point the tour guide mentioned there was a spooky haunted doll down inside a vent but phone flashlights usually weren't powerful enough to see it, so my sister whipped out the industrial-strength flashlight she carries in her purse at all times and the guide exclaimed "Oh! We should have lesbians on every tour!"